Long before addiction becomes problematic for a partner, trust and confidence in a relationship can begin to erode. Partners often feel as though their significant other is hiding something, and friends and family may be expressing their concern about the couple’s future. If you’re experiencing any of these anxieties, read on for helpful tips on how to cope with your partner’s addiction.

Recognize the Signs

If you’re noticing any of the following signs in your partner, it may be a good idea to have a conversation with them.  Missing more than usual from work or social life  Frequently lies or tries to cover up their actions  More anxious, depressed, or secretive than normal  Is usually late, often forgets things, or is spending less than usual

Help Is Available

A mental health professional who is experienced in working with couples can be very helpful. Couples therapy is specifically designed to help couples deal with relationship issues. It can be helpful because it focuses on the couple rather than just one partner. 

Alcoholics Anonymous would also be extremely beneficial. Alcoholics Anonymous is a 12-step program is effective for many addictions and can be especially helpful when dealing with a co-occurring mental health issue. Members call AA a “friend under God’s spell,” and the organization’s basic principles include always doing what’s right, maintaining a passion for sobriety, and living a quality life. 

Unconditional Love Is Key

You can’t force your partner to get help if they don’t want to or aren’t ready. Unfortunately, many addicts are ashamed of their behavior, and they may feel as though their partner will be critical or judgmental if they seek treatment. But love and respect your partner no matter what they do or don’t do, and you’ll be taking a big step toward maintaining a healthy relationship.

Stay Honest

Honesty is important no matter what the situation is, but it can be especially important in a relationship where one partner has an addiction.  If you’re concerned about your partner’s behavior, it’s important to be honest about your own actions. Be willing to be accountable for your own actions and don’t try to hide things from your partner. 

 Be open about your emotions, too. If you’re frustrated or angry about something your partner has done, be willing to discuss it without holding back.  If your partner is open and honest, they’ll be able to see where they can improve and grow as a person. When one person is lying or covering up, it’s harder for the other partner to trust and depend on them.

Set Boundaries

It can be helpful to define what your partner can and can’t do while they’re using. If you’re worried about them going to a certain place or using drugs in a specific way, be open and honest with them about your boundaries.  One effective way to set boundaries is to write a contract that outlines what your partner can and can’t do while under the influence. 

Be sure to break the contract if your partner violates it, and be willing to follow through with consequences if they don’t follow the contract.  You can also establish a safety net that lets your partner know that you’ll help them if they’re in trouble. This might include calling the police, getting help from family or friends, or letting your partner know where to go for help.

Stay Connected

Keeping in contact with your partner when they’re using is important for many reasons.  It’s important to maintain a connection with your partner even if they’re using. Addicts often feel as though they’re “missing out” or they don’t want to “burden” their significant other with their problems. 

 Being connected also lets your partner know that you care about them and their wellbeing. It gives them a sense of purpose and lets them know that you’re willing to help them.  Keeping up with your partner’s daily activities also lets you stay connected to your own goals and obligations. It’s important to prioritize your responsibilities and goals in a healthy relationship.

Don’t Take it Personally

It’s important to realize that your partner’s addiction is a mental health issue, not a reflection on you as a person.  It’s important to remember that your partner’s addiction is a separate issue from who they are as a person. It can be easy to take things personally when your partner is using, but you don’t need to be angry or upset with your partner.  You don’t need to defend yourself or justify your actions. You just need to remain calm and focus on your own needs and what you need to do for yourself.

Stay Calm and Positive

It’s important to stay positive even when it may be challenging.  It’s important to stay positive even when it may be challenging. When you’re dealing with a mental health issue, it can be easy to get overwhelmed.  You may find yourself feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or even guilty. But you don’t have to let these emotions take control of your life.  You can practice self-soothing techniques such as taking a walk, eating a healthy snack, reading a book, having a conversation with a friend, or doing something that gives you a break from your feelings.


Addiction is a complex issue that can be difficult to cope with. While it can be difficult, it’s possible to cope with an addiction in your relationship. Keep in mind that addiction is a complex issue that requires a comprehensive approach and ongoing support.  If you notice any of the signs mentioned in this article, it’s important to have a conversation with your partner. This can help you recognize the problem, as well as help your partner get help.  While it may be challenging, it’s possible to cope with your partner’s addiction.

Asheville Recovery Center

Fortunately, there are ways to prevent unhealthy behaviors and help those who are already struggling. If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction or mental health, it is important to get treatment. At Asheville Recovery Center treatment specialists utilize a 12-step program and practice holistic rehabilitation. 

Services at the center include:

 partial hospitalization program – At Asheville Recovery Center we offer a partial hospitalization program for clients who need post-residential treatment as well as for clients who need primary treatment but are unable to enroll in inpatient programs. Our PHP track offers a variety of therapeutic services and benefits to individuals in early recovery from substance addiction.  

Outpatient Rehabilitation – During intensive outpatient treatment (IOP), clients live at home or in a sober living residence while completing an addiction treatment program. IOP is a place where clients can process their experiences in twelve-step fellowships and support one another in those individual journeys.

Addiction is difficult to overcome alone. If you feel that you or a loved one is struggling, our specialists are on standby and ready to help. Call and speak with an addiction expert today.

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